


i'm on a roll this time

by haipollai



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Adjusting to the future, Fluff, M/M, post winter soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 18:10:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's real," he whispered like a little kid. Like the one time the sisters at the orphanage had given them chocolate for Christmas. Bucky had split his in half and given some to Steve since he was sick. Bucky thought he was going to lose Steve that winter.</p>
<p>Falsworth was the one who overheard and arched an eyebrow. "You've never had real coffee before?"</p>
<p>"Not all of us grew up on fancy estates," Dugan grumbled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm on a roll this time

Bucky can remember clearly the first time he had a real cup of coffee. It was in London, the morning of the Howling Commandos first mission. He remembers sitting with all of them around the table in HQ. There was hustle and bustle around them, but the team was the only one at the table. Bucky remembers the way Steve's toe bumped his ankle and he grinned at him. The same grin Bucky had seen a million times from a smaller face and for a second it hurt. But Steve looked so alive and comfortable in his new skin that the hurt faded quick.

"It's real," he whispered like a little kid. Like the one time the sisters at the orphanage had given them chocolate for Christmas. Bucky had split his in half and given some to Steve since he was sick. Bucky thought he was going to lose Steve that winter.

Falsworth was the one who overheard and arched an eyebrow. "You've never had real coffee before?"

"Not all of us grew up on fancy estates," Dugan grumbled.

The tension they were all feeling eased and Bucky grinned back at Steve.

After that, he can count on both hands the number of times he had real coffee. The Winter Soldier had never cared much what he drank as long as it wasn't poisoned. He was treated like a tool and given no more then absolutely necessary, real coffee was never on the menu.

And nothing could really prepare him for the communal kitchen at Stark Tower.

"What is it?" He asks, poking one of the bags. There's a whole shelf in different colors which he assumes matches up with flavors.

"Coffee," Clint answers like it's obvious and Bucky makes himself a cup of tea. At least everything is labeled with words he understands. He doesn't look up when Steve shuffles in, damp from his shower and makes himself a cup. When a cup is set down in front of him, he almost jumps off his chair.

"With milk and lots of sugar."

It's rich, richer then anything they had back in London when real coffee had to be watered down just to have enough for everyone. Steve's fingers brush his knuckles. "Good?"

Bucky blushes at how obvious he must be. "It's um it's something."

Clint looks at them both like they're nuts and mumbles, 'it's just coffee.' Bucky feels something catch in his throat. He wants to smack this _kid_ around. But Steve's hand closes around his wrist and his look is complete understanding. It makes the tightness in Bucky's chest ease somewhat. He's not alone.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Steve blinks, taken by surprise. "For what? Liking a French roast?"

"For leaving you alone."

Steve's smile softens and his thumb brushes Bucky's knuckles again. "There's a good place by my apartment in Brooklyn, once they agree to let you out, I'll take you."

Bucky sighs softly, dropping his head forward into his free hand. He's so tired of being stuck, the constant feeling of mistrust eats away at him. The only thing keeping him from making all of SHIELD's worst nightmares come true is Steve. They all think it's the ruthless Winter Soldier they have to be scared of, but it's what Bucky Barnes learned as a kid that would turn them to ash.

Steve carefully draws his hand away from his face. "Hey, get out of your head." He pauses and seems to consider what to say next, until a slow smile spreads over his face. "Bedroom?"

"Can I bring my coffee?"

"Of course."

It's nice to get away from Clint and into the fake privacy of the elevator, there are cameras everywhere, Bucky isn't stupid. He still presses close to Steve, licks his way into his mouth and moans softly at the taste on Steve's tongue. It's one thing to touch when the person is right there, but somehow even when he knows they're watching through a camera it doesn't matter. Even if they can technically kiss and touch in front of him, no one is going to jail them for it. But it's one more thing to get used to. Steve might have already, but he's letting Bucky take the time to adjust.

When he's finally allowed out of the tower, after one more week of not killing psychologists, he's comfortable with holding hands with Steve on the subway. His metal hand is hidden with an image inducer and it hits him hard that this is _normal_. Coffee shops on every corner like they're in Paris and holding hands on the subway.

It fully sinks in when they walk into the coffee shop Steve mentioned by his apartment. Bucky can't understand half the menu but the staff greet Steve like an old friend, throw around words like 'the usual'. He has to pull away from Steve and barely makes it outside before the panic attack starts. His fingers dig into the brick siding, crumbling it as he struggles to breathe. Each gasp feels more desperate than the last but nothing is coming in. His lungs are tight and closed. After everything that's happened to him, he's going to die right here, back in Brooklyn.

A hand enters his field of vision, moving slowly towards his hand and carefully taking it in both of Steve's. "You're okay." Even as a whisper, his voice booms and Bucky struggles to remember the kid who couldn't be heard in a crowd of three. He keeps repeating 'you're okay' until Bucky's heartbeat starts to match the cadence of the words and he feels air enter his lungs again.

"This is really the world now," he says, his voice coming out raw and shaky.

"It really is. Do you want to head home?"

Bucky isn't sure where home is, if it's the apartment he still hasn't seen, or the Tower that acted as a jail. "No." He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I don't know what to order off of that menu," he whispers sheepishly. 

Steve smiles, and it doesn't matter what size he is, his smile is comforting. "You can still just get plain coffee." He kisses Bucky's finger tips. "And I told them you were my boyfriend who had just come back from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Bucky closes his eyes and leans forward before the panic can come back, pressing his lips softly to Steve's. "Don't worry, I know enough to make it believable."

Steve's hand stays in his as he orders, plain coffee with milk and lots of sugar, and it's silly but it's strangely comforting. He doesn't catch the name of what Steve orders but the girl behind the counter is shocked that it's not his usual. When they're sitting down, he pushes it across the table at Bucky. "Try it."

"You-"

"Try it," he insists. Bucky sighs dramatically in defeat and tastes Steve's coffee. Under the table Steve's toe bumps his ankle. "Good?"

"Yea-"

"It's a mocha. Enjoy." He steals Bucky's drip coffee before Bucky can protest that Steve shouldn't, giving Bucky a defiant look.

"Steve…" But there's nothing to really argue with, Bucky knows he would have done the same exact thing if their roles were reversed.

"Welcome to the future."

Bucky roles his eyes, but he can't stop smiling because of course he remembers. He remembers every damn detail about that last night in New York. "You're an ass."

Steve shrugs, still inordinately pleased with himself with his coffee switch up. "It's all yours later so I don't want to hear complaints." Bucky feels the flush spreading over his cheeks and tries to hide it behind a long sip of his drink. But if this is the future, with real coffee and Steve smiling at him, he can handle some embarrassment to get used to it.

**Author's Note:**

> written in like an hour and a half so sorry for any mistakes  
> based on headcanon that coffee was either not in their budget, or after the war started not easy to get
> 
> i'm pretty sure troublesteady, lanyon and sniffleheim are all somehow to blame for this


End file.
